‘The opposite of scarcity is enough’

Here is a lesson on gratitude.

Someone Facebook messaged me asking if living in a rural African township was hard because the people don’t have what “we” have and live differently than “we” live (I am interested in who “we” is supposed to be). Well, some people have enough, some people have excess, and some people are hardly getting their basic needs met. Just like in 1^st world countries. Poverty and excess are universal, of course. Take Austin for example – on the west side of I-35 there is a nice bustling metropolis and on the east side there is extreme poverty. Living in Magaliesburg is truly no different than living in any other city.

So, this got me thinking about an interesting thought process…

Having more = shame, guilt

And of course. -

Not having enough = shame, embarrassment

Man! No matter what you have, we are just taught to feel shameful. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Because I’m thinking, that’s so stupid.

Should I feel shame for having parents when other kids are orphaned? No. By being grateful for my own parents, I honor the absence of theirs. Should I feel guilty that I am in good health when others are suffering from illness? No, I show gratitude for my health by spreading knowledge on good health practices. I have enough and oftentimes I have excess. But, I do not feel guilty or shameful. Just gratitude. You know, shame is a truly debilitating emotion. Shame perpetuates or creates opportunities to get emotionally stuck. Always be aware of when you feel shameful and always remember to be grateful. Of course, I think that when we live comfortably, it’s sometimes really hard to remember to be grateful. Brene Brown (my social work hero) talks about something called ‘practicing gratitude’. All that means is voicing your gratitude. Try voicing your gratitude today! Haha, I knowwww this seems so cheesy, but just try. I’ve been doing it with the kids here at Botshabelo. When someone feels like they have less than or when someone feels guilty about having more than, we practice gratitude.  This sort of exercise makes people more emotionally aware and present. I know it may seem basic, but we are not the haves and have-nots. We are all just humans.

Alright, so I have had a wonderful past week. My professor came into town and we traveled around to Pretoria and Haartbeespoort. We visited the beautiful lake at Haartbeespoort, went to an elephant sanctuary, and slept at a fancy guesthouse in Pretoria. It was a fantastic 2-day vacation! Daphne, my little Dutch sweetie pie who I have come to love so much, even got to travel with us. Before we left on our trip we had to go to a funeral in the village. A sweet old grandpa had passed away. Here are some pictures of the visit:

Getting ready for the funeral. We have to wear long skirts and cover our hair. I think we look like potato farmers... so trendy.

Meerkat eating at the elephant sanctuary.

Right before we left for the funeral. That's Tammy my professor on the far left, Pauline, me, Frieda, and Daphs.

Posing for tourist photos at the elephant sanctuary.

Haartbeespoort

Rescued elephant from the sanctuary.

The lake.

Lazy Daphs

Fancy guesthouse

Our flat tire :(

More fancy guesthouse. I met a crazy Pakistani sports reporter at those tables.

Changin tires

Anyways, I also got some invaluable time processing my experiences with my professor. She kept reminding me that it might be hard for me to go back home because people won’t understand some of my experiences. I kept telling her, No! My friends are so amazing they will understand everything!

Yeah, well, I worry now that she may be right. This week a man died in the village. I was catching stray kittens with Daphne when some villagers found his body so we arrived a little late to the scene. When we got to the scene the big crowd had mostly died down. - You see, when someone gives birth or dies at Botshabelo, EVERYONE has to be there (even children). Life and death are one of the same… we celebrate and mourn in very similar ways! We just gather. A baby is born, we gather outside the house. A man dies, we gather outside the house. It’s so cool. - Ok, anyways, so Daph and I got there and the man was lying on the floor with a blanket covering his face (but we could see everything else). He had been dead for about 24 hours they think, so he had already turned rigamortis. It was odd coming upon this scene because there was something strangely peaceful about it. His wife was crying on the steps of the house, so Daph and I went to hug her and give our condolences as we waited for the police. When the police arrived we watched them check out the scene and inspect the body. The man’s face was covered in blood and his skin was a dull gray. Daph and I just stood at the window and watched. I knew then what my professor was talking about. I will never forget that strange afternoon. The memory isn’t necessarily sad or scary… just… unfamiliar.

What an interesting week it's been. I miss you all!

Christy